Northwest Profile #65: New Years Resolution Gym Goer

You come from households near and far, determination in your eyes and shiny new gym shoes slapping on the floor. You beeline for the elliptical machines, where you "workout" for 15 minutes before giving up and retreating to your car, back to a safe place, back to where you hid that Snickers bar in your glove compartment the other day. You wonder why you do not lose your excess holiday pounds magically like they do on The Biggest Loser, and so three weeks in you quit.
New Years Resolution Gym Goer, you're one of us.
(And I hate you. If only for the fact that you take all the towels. YO PEOPLE, Ya gotta actually SWEAT in order to need that towel there)

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